How or Why is it that EVERYTHING in life seems to contradict itself?

My cousin made the most sense of things:

I think I'm beginning to understand astronauts, an entire world away from everything....

Courage

It has taken me some time but I feel like I'm finally ready.

I am ready to believe in me.

I have a LOT to accomplish and a LOT to OFFER (it's exciting)!!!

Fun weekend-ROUGH Monday

We were GO-GO-GO all weekend long. From a late night at my brothers Friday night.... what a riot.... but Owie was happy to get an overnight out of it!!

Saturday morning Me and Keags spent some one on one at the Rec Center. We learned we have NO Basketball skills whats-so-EVER! Well.... mine were't too bad, LOL.

Back home and off to the Halloween party from there. Interesting night but fun. I was safely in bed by 12:50am.

Up at 7:30ish.... okay snoozed my alarm til 9:30, but we made it to church to see my little guy sing. From there ran out to the gym for some of my own mind and body work. I hung in there better than I thought I would considering the previous late night alocohol consumption. I did a little swimming. Ran 2mi down to a 9:00min pace.. I know thats YUCK but I don't remember the last time I ran it's been at least 3 mos or more. My sister showed up for my cool down and crunches work-out then we hit the weights. My arms are soooo sore. I had to cut it all off there because I was still so dehydrated.

Headed out to dads ordered some food and helped him the yard. Home by 6 to finish up laundry, clean the living room and bedrooms.... ugghh

My feet are KILLING ME.

That sums up the fun busy weekend.

And here it is, Monday with so much time for catch up, as the boss is out of town for the next 3 days. SO MUCH TO DO.. My "TO-DO" list is 2 pages long.

Having trouble focusing though.

SIGN UP! SIGN UP! SIGN UP!

Don't miss it! The Tri-for-Life Triathlon team has a race coming our way. Two of them actually. A 10K, 5K or Kiddie race right in Millington June 12, 2010 and for those multitasked athletes a Triathlon in Otter Lake on July 18, 2010.

Their incredible story touches lives everywhere it is heard and has spread like wildfire. They continue as advocates to spread the word and GIFT of organ donation through the loss of Chase Coleman, the youngest of 4 brothers. I am wowed by their dedication to the cause. I am wowed by their spirit and kind hearts. They need our support.

Come. Run! Bike! Swim! There will be medals, cash prizes and more. Check it all out at there website http://www.donatelifetriathlon.com/
If you are an athlete of any kind these events could be another great training day or even better, a goal to overcome. If you have never labled your self an "athlete" Please Please don't let that hold you back or scare you off. This amazing team is willing to help you and train with you so that you can get out there too!
I can't WAIT!!

Long time, No blog

WOW. I can't believe I haven't blogged since Septmember 2009.... well, yes I can. Things are going good. Really good I think. I've been feeling pretty lucky lately which is so rare for me.

The new Job is going sooooo good. I LOVE IT here, even if they're all out bar hopping at the moment without me (I'll catch them next time for sure).

My kids are finally getting over there 101 illnesses.
My big guy is having a yucky Colonoscopy next Friday.... I'm very nervous about it and he is terrified but the good thing is we will finally (hopefully) have some answers and clear our minds of the really bad things. I'm going to miss the scrapbooking weekend with my family and friends but I think I can live with that. j/k

I started running again!!! FINALLY. I haven't run since my surgery in November. I did four miles slow/fast intervals at the gym last weekend and plan to run tonight at the track (it should be cleared of snow by now).

I usually blog too long, ramble too much so I'm going to stick with those few things for now. But, all is well-going GREAT, I'm finally feeling that happy spark again and my kids seem to be shining!

Don't STOP

Just don't stop. After weeks, even months of working so hard and fighting your desires to just be lazy.... don't stop working out. SERIOUSLY.

I did. I had been building endurance and speed for months and it's all lost.

You challenge yourself and work your schedule anyway you can to be commited only to start all over.

First there was dad's wedding and then the kids started back into school... trying to adjust to new schedules and routines. That's all it took, 2wks of running down the drain. My last run was 5mi at a great pace...my best ever, 2wks ago. I ran over 27miles total that week. Today I struggled and struggled and STRUGGLED to get through a 2mile run. I mean struggled. The landscape and wind seemed to be moving by okay but when I tuned into my body I realized I was NOT moving. I could hardly get air. I felt like an elephant or something, with my legs weighing 1000lbs each. For that fight, as hard as I was pushing, sweating and forcing one foot in front of the other... I would have anticiapated a 6:45 pace (2wks ago). Today it was 8:14. That should have been relaxing... oohh but it was FAR from it!!!.

So again I say, if you're working out or planning to, even in the smallest of doses... DON'T stop. It's just not worth it. It's throwing everything away that you've already worked for.

How bad do you want it?
FIND A WAY. or pay.

WAAAAAYYY behind on Blogging

Wow, time really flies when..... okay really time always flies by. I have not blogged in over a month but it has been CRAZY. (as always right).

MY kids, MY kids, MY kids. Yes they are at the Heart of that......crazy. I did have to give up 3wks with them. It was an awful 3 weeks for me and from the sounds of it not better for them. I couldn't stand to be home for a second. Seriously the second I walked in the door I felt like I had to leave or a heap of tears would flood the place. Thankfully, I was comforted by a wonderful friend and if it wasn't for him... well, things could have been distasterous.... OH, which brings me to the fact that my body decideds then to get SICK... like mono sick. Okay, it wasn't diagnosed to be Mono but lets just say my body still has not recovered and that was 6wks ago. I couldn't move. My legs hurt, my throat was just awful and I had fevers for a week. So much for being comforted and staying out of the house. But, at the first opportunity I was outside running and breathing fresh air... nothing like taking time to recover. I tried calling my kids everyday. BUT was only allowed to talk to them on Tuesdays and Thursdays. How crappy is that? Some parents..... Well, I will say no more. My kids said they knew I called and had many feelings on the matter.

I ended up making a trip down to get them (wasn't suppose to happen that way) and couldn't have been happier to see their little faces. WOOO WHOOO!!! I was SO happy. Still AM. I have unfortunately been dealing with a ton of mixed emotions and such but they are HOME! We spent the first week snuggling every chance we could.... who am I kidding they've been home 3wks now and I'm still snuggling them every chance I get.

I did the CRIM. The 10 miles. My goal was to run it with a pace of 8:50/mi and I did an 8:55/mi avg. I was very pleased with that especially since I didn't have a timing device. I got to start the race with the incredible TRI for LIFE team!!! http://www.donatelifetriathlon.com/ that was a great privilege and I met up with them after the race. It sounded like they had a great run (and then did the Chigago Tri the following weekend-What a bunch of POWER HOUSES). I myself, even though very pleased think I could have ran it a bit faster... I can say that now, hee hee!

The following week was SCHOOL shopping for the kiddies. Only the necessities (some of which still exist). I love getting them organized and ready but it can make for long days. My daughter and I spent over 6 hours getting her ORGANIZED and READY. That little Turkey. Her room was a Nightmare. Seriously- A scary nightmare. But, we've got it undercontrol now and we are on top of it everynight. Mom layed a few new rules down and they seem to be working.. for now at least.

I also took the kids to see Thomas the Train.!! Owie's big day every year. He loves it. We won tickets off the radio this year (which was a blessing). It started out rainy but turned out to be a wonderful day. The kids rode in the caboose and had the best seats on board. They loved it. I have pictures I'll have to share soon.

This past weekend my DAD got married. I still can't believe it. Well, I can but.... my dad!
It was very beautiful in his backyard. Lots of fun. I can't wait to see the pictures (need to visit my sisters flicker). My littlest guy was one of the ring bears... his first wedding ever. He did so good and looked so cute. My cousin kept telling me he looked like a little G-Q. Haahhhahaha.

Soccer is in full swing and this year I'm coaching the youngest group. My Owie is so thrilled I'm coaching. It has been intersting. I've got a great group of kids. A few that just crack me up.

And yesterday was my kids first day of school. Yeah no pictures. I'm really slacking lately. My memory card has been full (found out at dad's wedding). My daughter was so anxious for her first day she was up at 2am again this year. I had to send her back to bed.

Woow!! what a quick update.

Another year older

These birthdays really are uneventful as you get older. I had a coworker ask me, "what do you have planned, you going out to dinner or...?"

Yeah-I'm gonna make myself a cake and then take myself out to dinner.

Not exactly.

The last birthday party I remember as a child was my sixteenth birthday. My mom was there, my Aunt Margo from Texas and her daughter Vanna, my boyfriend (ex husband now) and it was at my Great Grandparents house down the road from my dads. Yes, I had to identify that my mom was there because it's one of the only birthdays I remember in which she was. She gave me a 16" gold necklace that I still have and wear from time to time. My Aunt Margo had got me a gold bracelet to match.

Let's see... the next celebration or ackowledged birthday I remember wouldn't come until my 23rd birthday when my girl friend (God mother to my daughter), Angela took me to see my favorite country singer (at that time) Keith Urban. And we had SO much fun.

The following year I was in Mi and my awesome sister, Krista (love you too Chrissy) got me tickets to Country Thunder USA where I again got to see almost touch Keith Urban. What a GREAT birthday that was.!!!!!

This year was basically just another day on the calander. I don't feel any different. I did however, have to re-add it a few times to make sure I was telling people to right age. Hahaha. I started forgetting my age a few years ago.

My kids did make it great though. I can't believe there little minds. Owen when reminded on the ride to daycare by my co-worker said he had to give me my birthday spankings... I got six :-). Keagan had them hustle to clean the house when we got home. Kierrah did the bathroom, he vaccummed and swept all the floors, Owen picked up all the floors. I got the best hugs and kisses a mom could ever ask for on her birthday.

CAR POOLING

OH the benefits are so great.

Yes the obvious, I'm saving MONEY.

But, this morning for example I was on the schedule 45min earlier than my co-worker so I got dropped off at the door (didn't have to walk that mile accross our parking lot to the hospital), and she even brought me coffee!!! Hot Fresh COFFEE!

This is good living.

And good living is much needed here lately.

It's amazing sometimes how far the smallest bit of thoughtfulness can go or how much it can imact someone. You might not always know what's going on in someones life (she knows about mine) but, you can still help. Her simple kindness this morning after that week I've been having will be stretched and appreciated to great lengths.

The comfort of a 4yr old

He stands at the end of my bed. Mommy, dressed and ready for work walks around and sits right in front of him on the floor. He turns and takes mommy's head in his little arms and pulls it into his tummy.

Mommy says, "I'm don't feel good, I am so tired I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep"

He says, "Mommy you have to go to work and get the money, ok?" But, if you hurry up at work and pick me up fast at daycare I will snuggle you when we get home".

Mommy smiled, "that sounds perfect".

Much to say... little time

The other day after doing some much needed grocery shopping I decided (completely spur of the moment to do a run) so we swung by the track. I did a very rejuivinating 3 miles. I only had my cell phone to time but according to it's stop watch I was about 8 min 24sec pace. I can live with that. I met the current track coach up there who says he really needs a distance coach to help him out......hmmmmmm. We talked for a while and I shared some tips I've been reading. I told him we'll be in touch.

My kids are totally taking advantage of paranoid mom mode!!

Their bedtime has been pushed back the last 2 nights, they've all been piling in my bed and they ALL think they need their own blanket and their own pillow. So we somehow end up with 6 pillows, 6 blankets (non of which we're under) and 4 bodies... Mom usually wiggles to the end of the bed at some point (so much more room by their little toes). I feel like we can't do enough together. Last weekend we scheduled a lunch outing after church, the movie "UP" in 3D (very cute), bowling and the park. And the weekend before that I took them to the Drive in. We've been picnicing, minus the few days of rain and snuggling up together on the couch every night. I just can't IMAGINE not seeing their little faces for 2wks or more.

I was up til 3am this morning fretting over it. Just could not sleep. So many things come into perspective at that hour believe it or not.

Anyway, I recieved a phone call this morning... Good news. Really good news!! I can't wait to share it with those who...... well with my family and closest friends.

ALL I can say right now is THANK GOD! And Really...... I'm thanking Him.

scared mom

My gutt is in paranoid mom mode.

Bad enough I might not see my youngest two for 2wks; now I find out (as those who know my situation know-it changes by the minute) my oldest may have to forfeit his position on the AllStar team that he worked very hard for, and there may be no homecoming in 2 wks.

How do I cope?

2wks is SO long? I have never been away from my kids for more than a week. The one time they went down south to see their dad, I drove them. I stayed down there, so I was close. I can't go down there right now.

There's been threats that my calls won't be excepted. That's thinking like a mature parent. Take the kids away from their home, away from the one person who's always been there and don't let them speak to her. Seriously? My daughter said last night that I have to call her every morning and everynight. And I will. But, I can't make him answer.

It's not just me they'll be missing either. What about all their friends and family that is here. Kids hang out with their friends all summer long. My oldest two have already had several invites.

I'm so going crazy here. And I can't imagine what my kids will be going through.

I could go on forever but it's probably best not to share so much with the internet world.

If there is any words of encouragement or advice..... I'm all ears.

Where have I been?

Good question.

And many answers.

The usual work, cleaning, KIDS SPORTS (very time consuming) and well.... I better leave it at that. I tend to say too much.

So on the home front. I'm trying to clean like crazy. Dust bunnies and all. I need to go through and throw away what I can because hopefully (if things go right) I will be moving soon. The kids' rooms are in order we just need to go through that huge ridiculous toy box of theirs. Seriously they don't play with half of it. My rooms' night mare is all the CLOTHS. How do you part with them? And the shoes? If they are in good condition... and mine are. And these days nothing is out of style. But, I'm working on it.

Work is busy. Especially because hours were cut back. The good thing is it gives me more time for sports and housework and the bad thing.....OBVIOUS right?

Sports are taking a lot this year it seems. The first time for me to be traveling with my son's baseball, not his first year. Unfortunately because of school last year I missed quite a bit of that. And soccer. We were up there 5-6hrs last Saturday....6games!!!. But, it was fun. I have no complaints. I love watching them play.

With all this and having been sick a few wks ago I have not been running. :-( And I love to run. But, the good news is I may have found a new running partner and help with the kids at the same time. I need to sign up for some races though. There's one next month that apparently I shouldn't miss. So I need to get movin.

For now it's back to work.....

Parcel for the Park

A busy Saturday morning.

Ballet @ 10:30-11:30 (next town)

Baseball practice 12:30-2:00 (hometown)

Both following this mornings 5k race.
I was super excited for the race, more for my sister than me. It was her very first race (in her adult life) and she was more than ready. I was worried she'd try to keep up or not keep up with others since almost everytime we'd been out to practice I ran with her chatting her ear off and often times forget how fast I'd have her going. She told me not to worry about running with her because she knew she could do it. I knew it too.
My expectations for myself were to try and hold a 8 minute mile pace until the last mile, then pick it up to a 7:30/7:45 pace. Yeah... that didn't happen. When I took off on the start I had a little trouble starting the garmin and then I noticed I was running some 6minute pace....woooow Megan..slow it down girl. Everytime I checked it and was running too fast, I'd end up slowing it down too much. Or running it too slow and then speed it up too fast. I am terrible at keeping a steady pace. I really really need to invest in my own garmin for that reason. I kept my eye on what appeared to be a little boy between 8-10yrs old (kicking my butt) until the 2mile marker, rounded the corner and seen my sister-n-law. I didn't see my oldest sister and imediately started thinking about her. I wondered if she started too fast or if she'd found someone to run with or if I should have ran with her talking her ear off like I always do but....I kept right on, trying to work on my pace waiting for that last mile. I come out of the woods and seen my brother-in-law snapping pictures of me... I waved, smiled and kept running. After passing him I realized I was nearly at the finish, I could see it... totally bummed I kicked it up a knotch (so much later than I wanted to) and crossed the finish line. And as always the finish line is the best part only it was better than ever this time, because my three little ones were there with smiles and FLOWERS! (thanks Kenny!!). And that wasn't it. I got to cheer in both sisters! They did so good. My sister-n-law did almost 3minutes better than she was hoping for....thats SUPER. And my oldest sister.....I am SO PROUD of her....finished her first race, by herself, without stopping. YOU ROCK sis! (And I can't forget your more than helpful husband...he Rocks too).

So we rushed off to the other events of the day. I get home from Baseball just intime to catch my internet guy. He hooked me up and I check out the race results.... I got first place in my age group. Holy cow....us 25-29yr old ladies were a bit slow this morning. I really thought my time would have been much futher down the list but yeah I'm cool with it. And my sister-n-law was right up there too placing 5th in our group...We kicked butt!!! :-) My time: 25:42. 1st in age group, 13th overall females. 193 runners, 102 females.

I'll have to steel a group photo from my sister when she gets them up on flicker!

THANKFUL and OH SO BLESSED

This morning when I dropped the kids off at school I was given a GARMIN to borrow for my race. YEAH!!

wait, let me repeat that

YEAH!!. Seriously SO HAPPY about that. Anyone who runs with a big fat $5 stop watch from Walmart could understand my GREAT appreciation for a Forerunner GARMIN. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

Then I get to work and there is a huge gift bag on my desk.

Mrs. Paula is guilty.

She bought me a book Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul. With a beautiful handwritten message inside:

Dearest Megan,
You and I have shared many many "mom" stories. This is a great book
for short Reflections into that glorious gift the Lord gave us...."Motherhood"
You are the Best........I wish you Happiness......Courage.....Love
Paula
xxoo

In addition to that there were 2 more gifts in the bag. A beautiful Angel of Courage....the card reads, Bringing a triumphant spirit, inspiration and courage. The other is titled: Happiness and reads, FREE to sing, laugh, dance.....create!

I cried.

I just love her.

I LOVE angels too. I have a great collection of them at home.

Paula is just wonderful. I am so Blessed to have met her. So BLESSED and so THANKFUL.

A Friend

My co-worker, my frined, my.....

well

there are no words to describe her.

I love the women and she's moving on to new ventures in two days.

Every morning for the last year and a half I have sat with my coffee in hand sharing my life with her and listening to the many stories of her life.

This morning's story was about her husband on his first Turkey hunting trip. He's there now. So I shared a friends story of his (all to easy) first Turkey hunting trip that I've heard about a few times :-). Then somehow converstation was led to the meals that follow. She told her husband if he gets one, and expects her to eat it, he'd better not let her see it. I found that quite funny. I could easily see what she's talking about and how that'd grose one out......yet I remember, too many times, seeing a deer hanging in our garage-guts spilled open and a poodle of blood on the pavement below. YUCK. I didn't know any different and I ate the meat without question. Maybe it was never...."poor animal" because it was always "good job Dad" (or who's ever catch it may have been). The men and all their cheers, I'm sure, brain-washed us kids into believing it was all good. Matter of fact my step-mom, Aunt, and sister-n-law hunted with them. I think if I'd seen the animals alive and in their environment first my story would be slightly changed.

It's so much fun to work with someone you can just talk to. Easy conversation. That allows you to vent, or remenise or just see into someone else's life. It's been so relaxing.

Two women who've never once had any "drama" between eachother. Seriously. I'm not Lieing.

She will be so GREATLY missed.

I have told her I will now try to keep up with my Facebook as that will be our new connection. This will be a challenge for me as (1) my computer is down and (2) I am terrible at keeping up with Facebook.

But, I will keep in touch.

She has lifted me up and given me all the huggs I've ever needed when times seemed hopeless and lost. I have learned so much about her and her wonderful family, who I've I'd the pleasure of meeting on more than one occasion. She has shown love and kindness to my children......boy do they love her pool and those HUGE cookies she sends them. :-)

She's a best friend but more. Someone I knew I could trust. Someone I could confide in about anything. Someone who's given me much advice and tried guiding me/pushing me to do more. A mentor. A mother.

I love you Mrs. Paula!!!

And now I will stop there, because being the soft hearted mush I am, I can no longer see the screen through my teared up eyes. (I blame that on my dad! Thanks Dad. I inherritated his mushiness)

Here I go

In about thirty minutes I'll be leaving work to go sit with the big dogs. So scary. I will be at the mercy of a perfect stranger and she has no idea HOW much my emotions will be bundled around her every word. My stomach is knotted up to the extreme. It's that knowing I have no control over things. And knowing I've run off the one friend I will want to talk to most. I have a way of making things harder on myself.

yeah, good one Megan.

Wish me luck.

Words of Wisdom....or a fool (not sure which) not GOD...me!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it does not delieght in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails. 1 Cor. 13
-And it takes two.

YOU CAN'T REACH A GOAL IF YOU DON'T RUN IN IT'S DIRECTION.

NFL Draft

So on the way into work this morning I tuned into some talked radio. And lucky me.. ESPN was the only station to come in. Not that I don't like sports, I'm just so out of the loop it's hard to follow. Which brings me to some questions.

Listening to them discuss the upcoming NFL Draft was interesting but confusing. They were talking about this team getting 8th pick but they may decide to drop down.?. What? First of all what determines who gets 1st pick, 16th pick or 8th pick? Is it the teams rank.....how good they were in the previous season? I don't know. And why would they drop down? It sounded like they may get more guys that way, but I barely caught that part. These people asume their listeners are familiar with the process, which I'd imagine most are. Then they were talking about this team getting, for example Mark Sanchez (don't know em). Well, if they have 8th pick and Mark Sanchez is that good how do they know that team will get him? And it's obviously discussed on public radio so other teams know who this team and that team are looking at? I understand some coaches are looking for speed while others need someone with better passes but still letting every team get who they want puts them all at greater risk for losing doesn't it? or winning I guess...goes both ways.

How confusing. I know it's been explained to me before. I remember watching the draft a few years ago but I probably wasn't completely tuned into the process.

I'd like to be re-enlightened.
Jaime??

Strength

WHEN LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN TO YOUR knees JUST REMEMBER THAT YOUR ARE IN THE PERFECT POSITION TO pray.
unkown